Tuesday, August 28, 2007

the sun rose and with it a tiny, secret Santa Claus

Last week it was really cold and rainy which normally I like as it gives me the perfect excuse to lounge and be snuggly. I didn't get a snuggly feeling last week though- what I got was depressed.
Everything started looking really bleak and then we got ants in the bathroom, which I took personally. Then we got ants in the kitchen which, again, I took personally and worried that they could be the ants that were formally hanging out in the bathroom, now bringing poopy and pee-pee germs into the kitchen.
I just couldn't seem to shake all the crappy crap that was running through my head about how unlikeable I am and what an inferior mom I am turning out to be. Feeling down, I was also extra grumpy and wasn't taking it easy on the boys by any stretch of the imagination or really moving at all or eating anything that wasn't sugary...or popcorn. Surprisingly, none of that seemed to help.
The final straw happened yesterday when Keeler was semi-excluded from a playdate. He really didn't seem that busted up about it; I, on the other hand, broke down and wept...but, finally there was a silver lining that came shining around the cloud that was my shitful mood: I can always commit suicide if things don't start looking up. and that realization was totally radical. Really, I have the choice to be here or not.
Today was a much cheerier day. The clouds were totally puffy and there was a big ol' shiny moon. I mustered up the nerve to call a neighbor that I really like; she came over and we had a good time hanging out, laughing at the ridiculousness of everything while our kids did their kid things. I am reading every book that Anne Lamott ever wrote all at once and, of course, who can be sad in the face of that? AND I am going to see the Eagles play on Thursday, so I think I'd better stick around.

Thursday, June 07, 2007

more fun with images

This is Keeler's first comic book page. I absolutely adore it. In real life, it is much clearer and the colors are more vibrant, but you can probably see it well enough here to make out that the top two frames and the bottom right are people who are playing outside, in the grass, under the clouds. They are: Keeler himself, then me, and then RB. The other little guy in the bottom left is meant to be a teeny little Eliott who is by himself in the library.
There can't possibly be anything better than kid art.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

reasons this day was awesome

1. huge turtle showing up in the neighbors yard (This is a picture of Stephen with him)
2. figuring out how to add pictures to this here blog
3. my mom's most awesome salsa and lime chips
4. Keeler and all his schoolmates singing "this little light of mine" at their preschool graduation
5. figuring out how to hook up the VCR. I rock.
6. having a nap
7. watching Mr.Rogers
8. hanging out with Krip
9. Discovering that both Krip and Jesse hate the expression "it is what it is"
10. Eliott and Keeler taking turns with baseball
11. new library books
12. my dad and Karen singing a ridiculous "good luck on your first day" song to me on the phone
13. being with Nana
14. knowing that RB will be home any minute

Sunday, May 27, 2007


I just made art. I think I will call it "saving her own life" because that's what it's a painting of. and I think it's really cool. Hooray!

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

untitled #1

My shoes are bright pink and the other day, when I was on a hike, a butterfly who was black and yellow and blue mistook (and landed briefly on) my shoes for flowers. It was cool. The next day was Sunday and in the evening there was a very round and perfect and clear rainbow right next to the house for about 15 minutes. That was cool, too. The boys were running around splashing in the puddles in their bare feet. Eliott is really funny when he puts his thumbs against his forehead and waggles his fingers saying "naneenaneebooboo". I think it's mostly funny because, as usual, he has no idea what he's talking about. also, Krip believes I have magic rainbow abilities. Keeler has been thinking a lot lately about the idea of numbers being infinite. He is extremely unsatisfied with it. Last night when RB and I were tucking him in he got started talking about it again which involved a lot of hand movement on his part and the notion that if we don't decide on an ending number it will cause a lot of confusion. He thought the following would be suitable final numbers: two hundred thousand, eighty-six, and twenty-nine. I think maybe he's right, afterall. Hey, Marth- I know you like the soulful lady-type singers. and today I was listening to Gillian Welch and wondering if you were a fan. Well, are you? I love her even if she is a little heavy on the fundamentalist Christian stuff from time to time. Also, are you qualified to be a singing coach? Besty, tell Marth to checky. Oh yeah, last night on Kids Corner there was an interview with Weird Al and then Kathy O'Connell played her favorite Weird Al song- "Bob". It is sung like Bob Dylan and I am not sure, but I think all the lyrics may be palindromes. which is so cool. I like all these components- Weird Al, Bob Dylan, Kathy O'Connell (I found out last night that she used to play the accordion. Keeler wants to play the accordion, too), accordion playing, and palindromes. I really also like the Weird Al song "Yoda" which is a parody of "Lola". and then today when I was working on the crossword, one of the clues was "Palindrome name" which, of course, was Adam. So, my point is- totally cosmic, man, right? One more thing- Eliott and I have started a bad habit together which is that after we take Keeler to school and are walking back home, Eliott will look up at me and smile and say "chockit cookie". The simple phrase "chockit cookie" is sort of deceiving because what he actually means is "well, I'm pretty cute and I don't see any reason whatsoever why the two of us shouldn't just drive right over to the Starbucks and have a treat...a chocolate chip cookie, for instance. and also, since we'd already be there, why don't you go ahead and get yourself something you really like, say...an iced mocha, maybe." He's just so damn persuasive. enough with the blogging, already.

Friday, April 27, 2007

to know Bug is to love Bug, right?

Upon signing in here, I learned that it is now possible for one to blog in Hindi. cool as a mule, people. Well, I simply don't feel like going to sleep yet and then I remembered about this blog. Oh, poor neglected blog, you. I am giving paragraphs a chance tonight. Well, one thing that has been on my mind and making me giggle the past few days is this: at my school, in the bathroom, there are metal locks on the stalls. and these locks are manufactured by a company called "Hiny Hiders". there, I said it. Paragraphs are really not my bag, baby. Neither is math, baby. Lately, when Eliott is mad about something and he wants you to know it, one of the things he does is say the word "ever" over and over while steadily raising his voice until, ultimately he is screaming the word "ever". The translation, I believe, is something along the lines of "don't you ever ever EVER do that.", but his way of putting it is so much more entertaining. I am in the middle of a good book called "Island" by Aldous Huxley. Recommend. Well, I recommend the first half of it and once I finish the rest, I'll let you know. I had distance reiki today with my friend Sherry. She saw me rowing a boat on a river, not struggling, but not really enjoying either. That's pretty much how I feel lately, except with some patches of struggling. Quadruple bum bum. Still, I am happy about some stuff. For instance: hiney hiders, obviously Keeler making a successful lemonade stand earlier this week Keeler putting his dirty smiley face underwear on his head and his new underwear around his chest like a bikini top and looking like some crazy-ass old woman cracking up about herself. Later he told me that he was wearing the new underwear over his "pimples". The kid has been referring to nipples as pimples for as long as I can remember...except for a couple of weeks ago when he repeatedly informed me that I, myself, am a nipple. Of course, he may have meant pimple. who knows? doing the crossword puzzle with Ken and Nana slugs Eva saying "they were being mean to me so I shoved them!" pink maryjane crocs Peter Cook videos in the mail having really wonderful friends in my life "that's it! I'm goin' off!" crosstitch. this word looks wrong no matter how I spell it. the most awesome show in the history of shows (Heroes, for those of you not in the know) being back on again. righteous. the sophisticatedly sound of my backward name: Avon Nosnibor Besty, how were the tacos? wink face.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Gettin' Busy Living

Hello, blog-readers. I have returned and today, thanks to my cutie little friend Jeanette-y spaghetti, I am ultra amped up on caffeine. I have also been informed that my laughter sounds like this: BAH! Well, this has been a busy week. I have been going all over town mailing packages and postcards, eating a lot of my favorite thing (pop-quiz: what is my favorite thing to eat, people? hint: zach braff and I have this in common), starting school up again and beginning the arduous and blistery path that leads to guitar playing. I am so happy that my step-father nagged me into learning with him and can't wait until we can have our first ever jam session. Yesterday, on the way to Acme (sans kiddos, thank you ever so much, mom) I was loudly listening to Belle and Sebastian and at all the guitar-parts I was getting super excited thinking "I'll be able to do that soon!". I really really really want to play that sort of music-the type all full of bliss and goodness. Last summer we went to a fiddling contest thing at Howell Farm and it was just rainy and hot and fiddly. I remember this one little string band escaping the weather in one of the farm stalls, playing their hearts out; people bouncing and dancing with their kids, really living it up. I get near that sort of a scene and the tears just start streaming. what a weenie I am, but live music, it really kills me. Somebody there had a shirt that read "music self-played is happiness self made". right on, man. So, my class last night. whew -this teacher is no joke and I am so thrilled that we are going to be challenged this semester. did you ever hear that Paul Simon song, called 'Duncan'? there is this one line that goes "I was playing my guitar, lying underneath the stars, just thanking the Lord for my fingers" I was thinking about that this morning- all these things I love: signing, learning the guitar, drawing- I am able to do them because this wonderful body I get to travel around in for this lifetime, it works just fine. Man! I feel so happy to be here. and in other good news, Bubboon and Bubbles have a new album with a song called 'worm collection'. my favorite part: find 'em with a shovel or scooper worms! make great bait for flounder or grouper worms! I can't tell their head from their pooper these guys are silly. Besty, quit winking your old lady eyeball at me.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Very Lucky Me

today was a very blah, stay- in -our- pajamas- all -day day. I aimed to take a snooze when Eliott took his snooze, but that didn't end up happening. however, a very wonderful thing happened around lunchtime; my very lovely friend Sherry dropped in and brought me a surprise package. it was wrapped in kelly green felt and tied up with some soft natural looking string. inside was the neatest asl book I have ever seen called "hand jive"-all full of asl slang and swear words and other good stuff. and, it doesn't stop there, folks because my sweet friend also made me a beautiful scarf. do you know the ones that are sort of fluffy and furry looking and they have flecks of different brilliant colors throughout? that type! it is absolutely gorgeous and will go with my grown-up blue coat. Sherry really made my day by surprising me with these really amazing gifties, but even better than that, she is a blessing to me everyday because she is such an amazing person to have in my life. She also happens to be a member of the most attractive family in the world. I love you, Sherry!

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Nearly One Year Later

Wowser. I haven't been back here in almost exactly one year. I nearly forgot all about it until my friend Carie started making a blog through this blogspot business and it sounded sort of familiar to me. Anywhoo... I think 2007 is going to be a righteous year. According to Rob Brezsny, this is going to be a year all about risk. He recommends that I "wander out into the unknown with a cracked grin and a wild heart." Isn't that a beautiful image? Well, bring it on, 2007! This is the year I turn 30 and I feel like I have spent all my life up until now worrying and controlling. Enough is enough, man. Did you ever hear that Hellen Keller quote? Here it is for those of you who have not (as well as for those of you who have, apparently): "life is either a daring adventure, or nothing." go on with your bad self, Helen. So, I have begun to actually believe that my life is fully my responsibility and that the world truly is my oyster. Hallelujah! All of the sudden, I am hearing about great terrifying adventures that sound like FUN, things that I would never have tuned in to before because so few things felt possible, as though living didn't quite apply to me. But, finally, thankfully, I am snapping out of that limited thinking, that bucket of wank, and back into a serious obsession with British-type stuff. A sort of funny story about British stuff: The other day I took Kman to see Charlotte's Web and, since I have been practicing my English accent, I chose to speak in one while buying the tickets and concessions. Later I told Eb about it and he was sure it wasn't at all believable to anyone at the cinema and, furthermore, the other patrons were all whispering, "she has a child with her, call the police." To which I responded, "That's fine too; that was my second runner-up reaction". Which reminds me of something else. If you have not seen the show "Charlie and Lola", please do so immediately. It is by far the best thing to happen to television in a long long long time. The little accents, the sweet sibling relationship, the neat music, the little accents. There is absolutely no way at all to improve this show. I really wish I could live in Charlie and Lola's world. rerld. rild. Besty?